And what’s more, life is not about you, period. Life is about everyone else. Life is about others. Life is only about you in the eyes of God and in His “big picture.”
In my opinion, this is the meaning of meekness. On a particular day many years ago, the definition of this difficult-to-put-in-words trait was taught to me in a way that would remain with me the rest of my life.
We lived five long miles out in the country. Money was scarce. Relationships were tested often. Raising five children was sometimes hard. We were tired from working and tired from being busy. To top it all off, not always did we act the way we should.
One day after church, we stopped at a local chicken place, picked up a family pack we could afford and headed for home. It was nice not to have to cook, but I was very aware that it was really not enough chicken for us.
Close to home, actually in view of our house, we encountered a disabled car by the side of the road. Two young men were only partly visible under the hood. Ken stopped the car and got out to inquire if he could be of help. After a few minutes, he stuck his head in to announce he could not fix it and that he had asked the boys to come in for dinner with us. I was not happy.
So, the nine of us went home and I began to get things ready. In a not-so-nice mood I took the bull by the horns and began to do my best to “expand” the meal and to maintain a façade of a happy family. When it came time to sit down, everyone scrambled around the table and sat down. As I walked from the refrigerator to the table, I could see that there was no chair for me. I was even more unhappy than I had been before.
Hiding my anger for the sake of our guests, I told the family to go ahead and eat. I needed to go lie down. Flopping down on the bed, facedown, I cried bitter tears. It was not just this incident. It was an atmosphere. It was not the first time I felt used and forgotten and mistreated by the kids and Ken. I was so angry that not one of them had the courtesy to see if everyone had a chair, especially Mom.
But, as I laid there on the bed, God spoke to me. I did not hear a voice, but He “whispered” in my ear, “Life is not about you. It’s about Me and my big picture. It’s about others. What’s important here is My big picture.” What He said was absolutely correct, and I knew it. Up I got from the bed. Off I went to the bathroom to throw cold water on my eyes. And out I went to the kitchen.
In my inner spirit, it became very clear to me that I had just been taught the meaning of the word meekness. It’s caring only about what God wants, and at the Heldman house that day, it was hospitality and unity and peace that was important to Him. It was not the time to teach a lesson in manners or to show my, perhaps justified, anger. It was time for meekness.
The meal went well. Except for the remains of the red around my eyes, there was no sign of trouble. I don’t remember what happened to the boys, but I bet we took care of them. The day was not about me. It was about them, about my husband and my kids. It was about learning the heart of God on the subject of meekness.
(Too bad I hadn't learned that lesson beforehand...how much simpler it would have been to quietly and cheerfully retrieve a chair from the other room...or even just ask someone to do it for me. If you want peace and joy in your life, that's what you have to do.)
January 2006
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